Author Skin Exposed? Get Some Snake Oil On There

Today I have a guest post on Authors Electric titled as above. It's a précis of the ebook publishing industry to date and tries to discover the secret of successful ebook marketing. Go take a look and see if you can identify the mystery snake oil vendors mentioned in the post.

Win A Professional Critique On The Opening Of Your Novel

Over on Multi-story they are running a competition to win a professional critique of your novel opening (up to 2500 words) by Booker Prize nominated author Jim Williams. Three winners will receive an incisive critique from Jim who has had twelve novels internationally published to critical acclaim, and he describes here what he is looking for in the winning entries. Entry to the competition is open until 30th September 2013 and here are the rules.

GAAngsta's Paradise - an Irish rap

A little bit of Irish social commentary - (rap it in your head to the original Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio feat LV).

As I shuffle down High Street struggling for breath

I take a look at my wife and realise she hasn’t left - yet

Which is kinda surprising, considering what’s been going on

With pay cuts and no hair cuts and no manicures and so on

The wallet’s pretty empty but I guess I deserve it

After all I’m just a gutter living, whining public servant

Enough negative, I got a job, I should be grateful

We ain’t eating beef steak, we gotta eat pork, so

The kids need clothes and stuff, ’cos they gotta look cool

But my shoes are puppy-chewed and I dress like an old fool

A meal out these days is a trip to KFC

And the mot tries saving money at Lidl, or Aldi

We’re wasting all our lives

In Bertie and Enda’s paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives

In a self-deluded paradise

We’re wasting all our lives

In Fianna something paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives

In a paper tiger paradise

Look at the situation they got us all facing

Ain’t nothing gonna be free, gotta pay for everything

Next thing you know they’ll ban hurls in the hood

That ain’t gonna go down well at all with us culchees

We got educated fools in the ivory tower

Got a hurl in my hand, wanna whack ’em in the bollox

Except we don’t wanna complain, wouldn’t be cool

Don’t wanna be a parody or appear like a tool, no

Debt ain’t nothing but a heartbeat away

Them Argos special offers only available til Friday

Equity is negative but I don’t give a flying fuck

We’re staying in this house til we die

Tell me why were we so blind to see

The answer don’t lie in property

We’re wasting all our lives

In a Fianna something paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives

In a self-deluded paradise

We’re wasting all our lives

In Fianna something paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives

In a paper tiger paradise

Powers and Jameson, Jameson and Powers

Paddy Power betting, open til late hours

Playing on the Lotto, playing Euromillions

Planning out your future on improbable statistics, yeah

You say your gonna win but you know no one who has

You got a better chance of winning the local beauty competition

We gotta run, we gotta play, we gotta score

Or else we’re fucked, ’cos this country’s outta luck, bud

We’re wasting all our lives

In a Fianna something paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives

In a paper tiger paradise

We’re wasting all our lives

In a Fianna something paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives

In a self-deluded paradise

Tell me why were we so blind to see

The answer don’t lie in property

And what do we bring to the party

Negative equity

We’re wasting all our lives

In a Fianna something paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives

In a self-deluded paradise

We’re wasting all our lives

In a Fianna something paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives

In a paper tiger paradise

words © by Ruby Barnes

Note: GAA Gaelic Athletic Association