Last summer we received my son’s school report. End of Year 4 in the
primary school, he was ten years old. His marks per subject were pretty much what
we had grown to expect – very strong academically, just about getting by in activities. However,
the overall commentary from the teacher came as a bit of a shock. He
was labelled as something of a sociopath (my word, not the teacher's) – "needs to be more tactful, is uncooperative, a loner".
We thought this might have been mentioned during the school year, at PT meetings, in notes home to us, maybe even a phone call or an email, but it hadn’t.
I know my
son pretty well. He’s a chip off the old block. Very attentive to detail,
studious but impatient, strong with figures and language but reacts badly to
criticism, mediocre at all sports - (focusses intently on one thing at a time), not too interested in investing energy in
friendships. A bit of a lone ranger. Well, as they say here in Ireland, he
didn’t lick it off the stones. He and I, we may well both be somewhere on a behavioural
spectrum but life has been, is and will continue to be good. After a few minutes
of “that’s my boy” we went hunting for his report for the previous year.
The individual subject performance was virtually identical, although it had been a different teacher. The overall commentary was full of positivity, encouragement and hope. Strangely it said exactly the same thing as this year. Except for last year’s teacher the glass had been half full. This year’s teacher was a glass half empty character. We asked our son what his opinion was of this year's teacher versus last: “She didn’t like me, the one this year. Last year’s teacher was much nicer.”
The individual subject performance was virtually identical, although it had been a different teacher. The overall commentary was full of positivity, encouragement and hope. Strangely it said exactly the same thing as this year. Except for last year’s teacher the glass had been half full. This year’s teacher was a glass half empty character. We asked our son what his opinion was of this year's teacher versus last: “She didn’t like me, the one this year. Last year’s teacher was much nicer.”
September brought a new school year and a new teacher. When we
received a bad behaviour note home (a rare event) in week three we were on the case to intercept any psychopathic tendencies. He and another
lad were
accused of being disruptive during a visit to a local secondary school –
one he
might attend in the future. When we took him to task over the note
he
denied the misbehaviour and insisted it was a misunderstanding or a case
of
mistaken identity. Discreet inquiries at the secondary school (his
elder
sister attends) suggested he hadn’t been any rowdier than the other
thirty kids
in the room. We met with the new teacher and she said the note and
punishment
(confiscation of all points earned for good class performance) was based
upon an admission of guilt. He had already told us he admitted to
whatever to
avoid confrontation and embarrassment.
Another story was related where the teacher had opened the last few lines of his homework poem up to the class of thirty ten-year-olds for improvement and he had "clearly felt uncomfortable about accepting constructive criticism". I remember opening up my writing to a peer review group at age 40 and the difficulty of coping with that, so I wondered about the teacher's tactics.
Another story was related where the teacher had opened the last few lines of his homework poem up to the class of thirty ten-year-olds for improvement and he had "clearly felt uncomfortable about accepting constructive criticism". I remember opening up my writing to a peer review group at age 40 and the difficulty of coping with that, so I wondered about the teacher's tactics.
We all smiled, nodded and decided to let life go on, no serious issues. By the end of the week we were receiving worried phone calls from other parents about various notes sent home and punishments meted out. Turned out we were dealing with a new teacher straight out of college. Strict disciplinarian. At least we know where we were. Glass half empty.
After half a year of experience the new teacher had calmed down and abandoned various divide and conquer strategies in favour of a quiet life. Half a year of learnng at the expense of our sons and daughters. Grrrrrr! Next year they'll probably have another new teacher. The reason? It's an Irish language school (only English is taught in English) and there's a shortage of qualified teachers able to teach the curriculum of subjects through Irish (Gaelic).
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| Ruby Barnes getting ready to fight his son's corner |
A few weeks ago my son and I competed at the Best of the Best martial arts competition
in Dublin. It
was his first time and he won a gold medal for weapons (sai dagger form
performed to Animals by Martin
Garrix) and a bronze for points sparring. I was beaten 7 – 4 in sparring by a
veteran black belt, enough said about that. As we got into the car to head back
to Kilkenny my son said it was the best day of the year so far. I asked what he
had enjoyed the most and he said the sparring bronze medal was his highlight as
it was more of a challenge. He wants to compete in divisions where he has to
push himself to achieve success. His glass is (at least) half full.
When half
full meets half empty, two worlds collide. How does your glass look today?
C'mon and raise your glass.
If you've enjoyed reading Ruby's blog then please sign up to Marble City Readers where you can grab a free e-book (e.g. The Baptist by R. A. Barnes) from any of the Marble City authors and receive info on other freebies, advance review copies of upcoming novels and occasional updates. Thanks!
This post first appeared on Ruby's regular 26th of the month slot on Authors Electric.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you've enjoyed reading Ruby's blog then please sign up to Marble City Readers where you can grab a free e-book (e.g. The Baptist by R. A. Barnes) from any of the Marble City authors and receive info on other freebies, advance review copies of upcoming novels and occasional updates. Thanks! - See more at: http://rubybarnes.blogspot.ie/#sthash.QIcRV9M0.dpuf
If you've enjoyed reading Ruby's blog then please sign up to Marble City Readers where you can grab a free e-book (e.g. The Baptist by R. A. Barnes) from any of the Marble City authors and receive info on other freebies, advance review copies of upcoming novels and occasional updates. Thanks! - See more at: http://rubybarnes.blogspot.ie/#sthash.QIcRV9M0.dpuf
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